I'm a bit afraid to. It might prompt her to 'confess.' [Making air quotes.] And I'm not quite ready for that conversation yet. I still haven't figured out how much is genuine feelings of attraction and how much is she THINKS she should have a crush on me. Either way, I see her as more of a sister than anything, so it gets uncomfortable real fast without knowing how I need to handle it.
Yeah.
But it's like....I know Chat as the coping mechanism isn't good. And I have some pretty bad identity issues at this point. But I have them because I'm trying to work through my other issues and Chat could do what Adrien couldn't. So like. I'm adding different issues, but at least I'm working through other issues instead of being stagnant. And at least I can do productive things WITH Chat while dealing with the issues instead of being an anxiety ridden mess constantly micromanaging my own behavior.
So honestly the life and death stuff doesn't seem like a big deal to me because I'm kind of on the edge of an existential breakdown every so often.
....I really didn't plan to have this talk today, I'm pretty sure I'm dumping a lot on you and I almost killed you the other day, I'm sorry I'm just....a total disaster.
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branchandroot
Re: [Action]
Date: 2017-11-30 06:15 pm (UTC)Yeah.
But it's like....I know Chat as the coping mechanism isn't good. And I have some pretty bad identity issues at this point. But I have them because I'm trying to work through my other issues and Chat could do what Adrien couldn't. So like. I'm adding different issues, but at least I'm working through other issues instead of being stagnant. And at least I can do productive things WITH Chat while dealing with the issues instead of being an anxiety ridden mess constantly micromanaging my own behavior.
So honestly the life and death stuff doesn't seem like a big deal to me because I'm kind of on the edge of an existential breakdown every so often.
....I really didn't plan to have this talk today, I'm pretty sure I'm dumping a lot on you and I almost killed you the other day, I'm sorry I'm just....a total disaster.